Weaving the Tapestry - Creating a Family Through Open Sibling Adoptions and Relationships with First Families and Meg St-Esprit
In this week’s episode, we are joined by journalist Meg St-Esprit. Meg is a parent of 4 children: 2 different sets of siblings, all through adoption. She shares her journey through adoption and the dynamic and interwoven way in which her family has integrated loved ones through open adoption. We talk about the nuances of weaving a family together through open adoption including holding space for your children’s emotions and having your own emotional self awareness. We also discuss adopting children with special needs and the best way to support them. Lastly, we discuss what family means to her. Meg is an incredible storyteller with a gift for articulating the complexities inherent in adoption and an ability to hold the full spectrum of emotions for herself and on behalf of her children. Tune in today to hear Meg’s beautiful story about open adoption.
In This Episode:
[3:05] Meg shares a little overview of who she is.
[4:00] We learn the tapestry about how Meg’s family was created.
[8:02] Understanding the difference between glorification and celebration regarding adoption.
[9:35] The show A Baby Story from TLC and what the show portrayed.
[11:30] Meg shares her journey throughout their adoptions and the options of choice.
[14:13] Meg tells us what open adoption means in her family: "I didn't realize that we would all just become family.”
[16:45] What does it look like to partner in an open adoption?
[20:54] What terminology would a close friend use when asking about Meg’s family?
[23:33] How did Meg end up adopting two sets of siblings?
[30:32] What does it mean to be equipped to take on adopted children or children with special needs?
[32:44] How should someone prepare themselves for adding a child to the family who has special needs?
[35:50] How does Meg advocate for her children?
[38:47] What are the key messages that Meg wants people to walk away with after hearing her story?
Takeaways:
Adoption isn't about a family wanting a child; it’s about finding a family for a child. Most of the time, the birth mother simply wants what is best for her baby, which may look like another family parenting the child, and that's ok! The child’s needs need to be considered first.
The kids can choose how and who they define as family. Allow the children to decide who they want as their family and what they call them. In Meg’s case, she has four children, each with a biological sibling, but they still consider each other brothers and sisters (no discussion around bio or not). For some families, it might be more comfortable to split who is biological and who isn't. Let the children decide.
It takes deep self-awareness to go into adoption. Be honest with yourself on what needs you can meet for a child, what kind of adoption you are open to, and what feels the best for your family. Adopting parents shouldn’t think they have to take the first child available for adoption; it's if you can genuinely love and care for that child.
Don't make a child feel like they are a second option. Many adopt after being unable to conceive, and children feel like they are the second choice. Build our children to know they are loved and everything you want.
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