I Didn’t Think It Was Possible Part 1 With Michael Mills - Trailblazing Gay Surrogacy in the UK and Donating an Embryo to a Friend
In this week’s episode, we speak with Michael Mills about how he and his partner pioneered the path for gay people in the UK to grow their families. They did so during a time when family building options were fairly limited in the US and almost non-existent in the UK. As a gay man, Michael always believed that having a family or children was beyond the realm of possibility. It wasn’t until the early 2000s after meeting his now husband, did he hear about surrogacy and gestational carrier options for same-sex couples. After a few setbacks, some great leaps forward, and a chance encounter with an egg donor, Michael and his partner now have two beautiful children. Later, Michael makes the decision to give two remaining embryos to a friend.
Michael shares about their family building experience, the unique connections his children have with their other half siblings, and Michael’s own story of being an egg donor for a close friend.
This is a 2-part episode featuring Micheal and Tammy’s stories which demonstrate just how complicated, interwoven and connected our families can be.
In This Episode:
[ 2:50 ] Michael’s introduction
[ 3:25 ] Michael and his partner’s family building story
[ 4:29 ] Pursuing family building in US in the early 2000s
[ 5:14 ] Examining old and new family “templates”
[ 12:10 ] As a gay married couple with children, what happens with the children if there is a divorce?
[ 14:04 ] Family building through egg donors
[ 23:25 ] Choosing a gestational carrier
[ 24:49 ] Michael’s advice to help couples with similar family building paths in the UK
[ 29:45 ] Family building process for gay couples in the UK
[ 33:46 ] Michael and Tammy’s connection and the connection between their children
[ 38:18 ] How to feels to watch your biological child raised by another person
[ 43:37 ] Fears in parenting Michael has experienced
[ 46:14] Nature vs nurture between Michael’s two biological children
[ 48:35 ] Michael’s definition of family
Takeaways:
In the mid 90s and early 2000s, the US was just starting to legalize gay marriage and there was a small uptick in agencies and medical treatments available to support gay couples in growing their family. Up until this time, many gay people, like Michael, never dreamed that having a family was possible.
At the same time, in the UK there was even less opportunities for gay people to get married and non-traditional family building options were almost non-existent.
After growing their family through an egg donor and gestational carriers, Michael and his partner were trailblazers in the UK and provided vital information and resources for gay people who wanted to grow their family in the UK.
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