"Why is this Laminated?" With Filmmaker Tom Webb: A Fertility Journey and Exploration of Masculinity
When we hear about fertility issues, we often hear stories from the female’s perspective. In the middle of his own family-building process, Director Tom Webb realized that he didn’t often hear the male’s point of view as a couple battles infertility. Because of this, Tom set out to make a documentary, The Easy Bit, that focused on some of the physical aspects, but mostly the emotional journey a male goes through as he supports his partner and they navigate the challenge together.
The Easy Bit explores the lives of six men who tell their stories openly and honestly about the male perspective of fertility treatment—looking through the camera lens, examining maleness through society’s perception, and how fertility impacts maleness.
Tom shares the experience of creating the Easy Bit along with his difficult personal fertility journey with his wife, addressing the difference between the United States and United Kingdom’s healthcare systems when trying to have a baby and the extreme process his wife needed to meet to qualify for paid IVF treatment in the UK. Tom also addresses the experience of being a partner who is going through a physically and emotionally painful fertility journey with a positive surprise result. Finally, Tom describes in one word what family means to him.
In This Episode:
[ 1:27 ] Tom’s introduction
[ 3:17 ] Tom’s fertility journey with his partner
[ 5:08 ] Differences between US and UK healthcare systems and navigating different requirements of the UK system when trying to have a baby
[ 9:17 ] Gastric Bypass Surgery, the extreme process Tom’s wife went through to meet the UK’s healthcare system to qualify for IVF treatment
[ 13:17 ] Tom’s wife starts the IVF process
[ 14:50 ] The trauma that unfolded from the IVF process
[ 17:06 ] Addressing the topic of toxic masculinity and how to support your partner during the fertility process
[ 19:07 ] How Tom’s documentary came to fruition
[21:31] The start of the documentary and getting men’s perspective going through the infertility treatments
[ 24:15 ] Points of similarity between the men’s fertility experiences in the documentary
[ 26:49 ] What surprises Tom learned from making the documentary
[30:26] Giving the male perspective on infertility to clinical and medical staff community
[ 31:03 ] Why the medical community was shocked when they first saw the documentary
[ 33:09 ] Circling back to find out the outcome of Tom’s fertility journey
[ 38:49 ] Tom’s playlist that would describe his fertility journey
[ 40:36] The word that defines family for Tom
[ 41:26] Where to watch The Easy Bit and how to find Tom
Takeaways:
Men feel like it’s all on them to provide the best emotional and physical support to their partner going through the fertility journey together. However, this can lead to men overlooking their own emotional and physical needs. By providing adequate mental health care to men during fertility journeys, they are better equipped to care for their partner's needs, leading to both parties having their needs adequately met.
Tackling the concept of “toxic masculinity,” which is exceedingly prevalent in today’s society, needs to be addressed. By taking the first steps to dismantle it and provide mental health support to men, the emotional burden is processed more productively which is beneficial to both partners in the fertility journey.
While facing fertility issues- finding a supportive community can be a helpful tool as you manage through treatments.
Infertility affects both men and women, however you generally know the female’s perspective. Helping men also have a voice during this time can be helpful for the couple as they experience it together.
People who haven’t faced infertility will probably not understand what you’re going through. Connecting them to some resources on how to help family and friends cope through this time is important and helpful for all.
Providing more support to men in a fertility journey can be beneficial to women
Fertility treatments including IVF are not a guarantee for success and even though it may not work out for you and your partner, you may come out with a stronger relationship.
Links :
Facebook: Facebook.com/theeasybit
Tom on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tomwebbdirector/
Website: https://www.tomwebbfilms.com
“The Easy Bit” Documentary - Watch on Amazon Prime
“The Easy Bit” Documentary - Watch on Vimeo
Instagram - The Easy Bit
Instagram - Tom’s Personal
Twitter - The Easy Bit
Twitter - Tom’s Personal
Facebook - The Easy Bit
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