Through the Belly of the whale with David Vendetti - a story of adoption, yoga, and belonging

Sep 6

David Vendetti has learned to be resilient and reflective through transitions, having been adopted, married twice, and the owner of a yoga studio that recently closed its doors due to COVID-19. As an adopted child, David lacked a sense of belonging. While he has always felt loved and supported by his adoptive family, this missing piece resulted in a strong desire to create relationships and communities that foster belonging for others—from supporting his classmates in a new grade school; to choreographing dance classes based on kindness rather than perfection; to his leadership in establishing a yoga community widely known for creating a sense of family.

This episode is about building and rebuilding family outside of the construct of the family that you’re born into, as well as thinking of the way in which we build and create ourselves for our family or on behalf of our family. David has questioned what the elements of a family are, discovering that anyone can be family, as long as the relationship is built off of unconditional love, support, and transparency. Plus, we talk about handling difficult transitions, walking away from blood family, and the concept of birthing and parenting yourself. A consummate learner and educator, David shares his journey and his wisdom with our listeners.

Takeaways:

David launched a yoga studio, South Boston Yoga, which was created to be a space to come together, deepen your understanding and love of yoga, and share it with friends and family.
When going into business with your partner, you may either grow and evolve together or you come to realize you have irreconcilable differences. Give each other space when you can.
Struggle is what leads to transformation and evolution as a human and as a part of a family. Be transparent and vulnerable with your family when you’re going through difficult transitions.
Sometimes you have to walk away from blood family or someone who says they’re your best friend, because they’re not behaving that way and they’re not representing the life that you hope to be living.
Reevaluate the belief systems that you’ve been brought up with. Do they truly support who you are or are they beliefs that were just taught to you?
To David, he has been a parent to many through yoga teacher training. Parenting is holding space, reflecting on their behaviors, finding resonance, and figuring out how to support and help them move forward.
David talks about “rebirthing” yourself—a concept sometimes referred to in mythology as coming out of the “belly of the whale.” He defines this as a period of time when a person feels an overwhelming sense of turmoil and loss of self, then goes into a protective, embryonic-like state from which they emerge and experience transformation.

In This Episode:

[ 1:53 ] The moments of feeling family outside of her nuclear family
[ 2:36 ] Who is David Vendetti?
[ 4:37 ] Chosen family: How the adoptive experience shaped David’s adult life
[ 6:28 ] How David handled rejection in high school and in his career in dance
[ 9:00 ] What sparked his love for yoga and spirituality
[ 12:48 ] What is it like to go into business with your spouse?
[ 15:11 ] Handling difficult transitions and nervous breakdowns: Tools/Techniques to move through them
[ 21:52 ] David’s very personal definition of family
[ 24:30 ] The idyllic fairytale of family + The challenge of finding our deep sense of self and our values
[ 26:27 ] Giving birth to yourself + Creating your community
[ 26:49 ] The Belly of the Whale analogy - feel turmoil and challenge but really it's an embryonic state
[ 30:33 ] The evolution of David’s second marriage
[ 33:49 ] The future for his family unit
[ 34:16 ] How David has been a parent to his students
[ 37:08 ] Be better, don’t just think about it