The Missing Piece with Arden O'Connor: Solving the puzzle with egg donor, sperm donor and surrogate
Arden O’Connor learned early on in her adult life that she wasn’t going to be taking a traditional path towards having children. In her twenties, Arden had leukemia, which left her unable to conceive a baby naturally. Now 42 and single, she is putting the puzzle pieces together with a sperm donor, an egg donor and a surrogate. In this episode, Arden answers the big questions for herself about how she defines family and how she wants to build hers. Her choices are influenced by her health risks, a tragic loss in her family, her Catholic upbringing, and a lot of deep introspection.
Arden is the Founder of O’Connor Professional Group, a mental health consulting company that addresses the needs of individuals and families struggling with an array of behavioral health issues, including addiction and mental health disorders. We talk about preparing to be a single mom while being an entrepreneur, picking sperm and egg donors, having a surrogate as a Catholic, and overcoming the obstacles that have held her back. This is a very insightful and inspiring discussion, you won’t want to miss it!
Takeaways:
Arden had to figure out what she wants in life and what’s the least risk for her body
There are great benefits to being your own boss while starting a family.
It’s crucial to find and surround yourself with people you trust along the family building process.
Understanding risks associated with surrogacy and sperm/egg donation is important but avoid seeking out horror stories. Have faith that things will be okay.
There are no guarantees in life. Sometimes you just need to “jump off the cliff.”
You can’t rush the family building process. It’s is going to move at its own speed.
Arden’s definition of family: Anyone who makes you feel loved.
In This Episode:
[ 2:07 ] The path she’s taking to build a family
[ 7:24 ] When did you start thinking about and actually start the family building process?
[ 09:04 ] Building a career with the idea of building a family in the back of your mind
[ 11:06 ] Are you ready to be a single mom? Does it feel like you’re giving up your independence?
[12:42 ] The loss of her brother & how that affects her thoughts around family
[ 15:25 ] Wrapping your head around having a surrogate as a Catholic
[ 23:59 ] You feel pressure to have kids?
[ 24:58 ] Picking and meeting the egg donor: Was it weird?
[ 29:50 ] Leading with emotions rather than logic
[ 31:36 ] Why not adopt?
[ 35:45 ] The 3 things that held her back + Getting around those obstacles
[ 37:30 ] Arden’s mother as a supportive partner
[ 38:30 ] What she wishes she had known before starting the family building process
[ 39:34 ] Arden’s definition of family
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